I’m pretty simple. I like hand holding and rough sex.
I think you’re cute
cute as in I wanna hear what you sound like while experiencing an orgasm
does anybody else legitimately worry about how they’re going to share a bed with their partner when they’re older? like buddy i need all the blankets to make a burrito and then i need to throw them off of me dramatically in the middle of the night and lie spread-eagled across the entire bed how is this going to work
It scares the living shit out of me that there are people out there who can empathize with a fetus but not a pregnant person.
The lack of tattoos on my body is highly upsetting.
-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this
I think its hilarious that you’re “mad at me” and unadded me on facebook, and I just noticed now.. Sorry, some of us are too busy enjoying our lives to worry about who deletes us.
I was going through my emails and one of my online orders has been dispatched and when I ordered it I had to put in a state but New Zealand doesn’t have states and I was annoyed so I put “New Zealand doesnt have states you fuckass” and now in the dispatch email under delivery addess it totally has “New Zealand doesnt have states you fuckass” as part of it woops.
Sorry mail person
Hairdresser: do you like it?
Me: yes thank you
*goes home and cries*